Newly Revised Book on Anxiety Now Available

Living Without Worry: How to Replace Anxiety with Peace

By Timothy Lane

Beginning in March, my newly revised book on worry and anxiety will be available.

Over a year ago, the first printing was ending and The Good Book Company was planning on changing the cover of the book. At that time, I asked if I could make some edits and add some content to the book. That idea was welcomed so I made changes and updated the book based upon more years of counseling those with anxiety.

The two major changes I made are reflected in the first part of the book. The first addition includes a clear statement about the tone of Jesus’ command for us not to worry. The second change has to do with how our brain and autonomic nervous system functions in anxiety. Below is an excerpt from the new revised version of Living Without Worry: How to Replace Anxiety with Peace.

Jesus talks about worry. And before we look at what he said, it is important to understand the tone he uses as he speaks to you during your worries. So before we begin, I’d love for you to read Luke 12 v 32 out loud:

Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.

This verse comes towards the end of Jesus’ most extended teaching on worry. Now read it again:

Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.

To understand the tone that Jesus uses here, let me take you back to when I was a parent with young children. It was not uncommon for one of our children (we raised four!) to awaken in the middle of the night having had a bad dream. They would come stumbling into our bedroom at 2 or 3 a.m., deeply afraid and sometimes crying. If you are a parent, I guess you can recall moments like these.

Now, how do you think my wife and I responded in these moments? We did not say in a stern rebuking way, “Don’t be afraid; go back to bed!” That would be a command but with little compassion! No! We would say something like this in a soft and soothing voice: “What’s wrong? Are you having a bad dream? Are you afraid? Oh, I’m sorry. Don’t be afraid. Mommy and Daddy are here. It’s going to be ok. Don’t worry. Come up here and let me hold you.”

The difference between the first response and the second is not just in content but primarily in tone. And the second response is how Jesus speaks to us when we are afraid or filled with anxiety. It, too, contains commands, but it is laden with tenderness and compassion.

As you read the chapters of this book, keep this in front of you the entire way. Jesus is calling you out of your anxiety because he knows it is not helpful. He encourages you in your struggle to find safety. He creates the very safety you are so desperately seeking, and shows you how to turn to him in child-like trust. That is the goal of this book. Read it with these tender words in mind, even when the truths may be hard to hear. Why not say them one more time?

Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.

If you found this short excerpt helpful, let me know in the comments section of the website or in Facebook or Twitter. Do not be afraid, little flock….

Fighting Temptation

Anglican Bishop J. C. Ryle (1816-1900), once said that there are at least two marks that indicate that someone has become a Christian:

1. There is a new peace!

2. There is a new fight!

He couldn’t have spoken more accurately. There is a new peace because you have been reconciled in your relationship with God through Jesus’ life, death and resurrection. You experience forgiveness of sins, reconciliation with God and a conscience that has been cleansed from guilt and shame.

There is a new fight because the Holy Spirit is now at work in you, providing enabling power to fight the remnants of remaining sin. That’s a strange combination but one that Scripture wholeheartedly proclaims.

As for point 2, what does it look like to fight temptation?

1. Know what Temptation Is:

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance…..12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

James 1 is a very helpful chapter when defining temptation. In James 1, the same Greek word for temptation is used in verses 2, 3, 12, 13 and 14. It means 2 different things based upon the context. In verses 2, 3, and 12, the word means external pressures. In verses 13 and 14, the word means an internal battle. Those are very different meanings. According to James, God sends external trials or tests for the purpose of deepening our trust in him (vv. 2, 3, 12). He never sets traps (vv. 13-14) to cause us to fall into sin and disobedience. So, a temptation is an internal war within each believer between remaining sin and the new power of the Holy Spirit.

2. Know the Context of Temptation:

9 Believers in humble circumstances (poverty) ought to take pride in their high position. 10 But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. 11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.

James 1:9-11 speak of the rich and poor. What is the point? Both riches and poverty are equally trials! In other words, a life of adversity has its challenges as does a life of prosperity. We can be easily duped into thinking that all is well in a season of blessing and that all is not well in a season of adversity. Nothing could be further from the truth. When life is moving along without any trouble, it is tempting to think that you don’t really need God’s grace. That is a very serious place to be.

3. Know the Stages of Temptation:

13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

James 1:13-15 spell out the slippery slope of temptation. It begins with a simple desire, but that desire quickly morphs into a demand. Why? Because of the condition of the heart of the person. It is due to a desire to worship anything but the true and living God. This slippery slope leads to death not life.

4. Know the Way Out of Temptation:

16 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

James 1:16-18 seem out of place after a long section on external trials and internal battles. But it is precisely what we need. For James, the way out of temptation is through a new power and dynamic of worship. Seeing the Father as the giver of all good gifts. Especially the One perfect gift that brings new birth. That One gift is Jesus, who comes to free us from the bondage of guilt and shame.

Anxiety and Micro-Threats

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

James 1:2-3

Over the past year, I have counseled many people who are anxious. What has been interesting is the common experience that most share. They can’t seem to pinpoint the reason for their anxiety. “I’ve never really struggled with anxiety before or to this level…I can’t seem to understand why now!”

At first glance, James 1:2-3 may not seem like a very helpful, compassionate, or encouraging few verses. But take note of two things:

1. James was the lead pastor of the church in Jerusalem. The occasion for him writing this pastoral letter was to encourage his congregants who were suffering persecution. He is not writing as an “arm-chair” theologian but a pastor who has a deep love for his flock.

2. Notice the phrase trials of many kinds. Now keep those two points in mind as we continue to think about anxiety and “micro-threats.”

In light of James 1:2-3, when I hear someone tell me that they are struggling with anxiety but they don’t know why, I begin to ask them to use another word; stress. Tell me what stressors are in your life right now and over the past few months or years. That’s when things become clearer for them. The list gets longer and longer. They start by quickly acknowledging the pandemic but move past it by saying, “But isn’t everyone a bit anxious about the pandemic?” As if that should make their anxiety less of an issue. Then they proceed to talk about numerable “minor” things that have been in their lives recently

1. Conflict with a family member or spouse

2. Issues with working from home

3. Financial uncertainty

4. Health problems

5. Home repairs and car problems

6. Lack of Sleep

7. Limited Social Interaction

8. Racial and Political Tension

9. Loss of a loved one/s over the past few years

10. Heartbreak over an adult child’s life decisions

11. Guilt and shame from self-medicating to assuage the pain

12. ETC!

As you can see, all of these “micro-threats” or trials of many kinds start to add up. Once a person starts to see their list, they begin to feel normal. That’s right! Normal. Inevitably, seeing the aggregate of issues allows them to see that they have a lot going on in their lives and their tension, stress and anxiety is a normal response to not feeling safe.

Maybe you have been facing trials of MANY kinds and have wondered why you are stressed and feeling anxious. Just because you can’t point to one specific reason or circumstance doesn’t mean that your anxiety is irrational. It could very well be that you are very much in your right mind. Life has been hard and you can see the multiple pressure points in a way that allows you to approach God without guilt or shame but in true dependence. Why don’t you pair James 1:2-3 with Matthew 11:28-30. Listen to Jesus’ empathetic invitation to you in these comforting verses.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

If you are feeling overwhelmed today, there may be many good reasons for that. And because Jesus understands your plight, he welcomes you to draw near to him and find comfort in his compassion and grace. Go to him now with all of your micro-threats. You won’t be disappointed. I promise.

2020 Meets Isaiah 9: “Nevertheless!”

I am not the first, nor will I be the last to say it: 2020 has been a devastating year for the entire world. COVID19, overcrowded hospitals, record numbers of deaths, racial unrest, political turmoil, lockdowns, spikes in mental health difficulties, increases in domestic violence and child abuse, and financial hardships due to high unemployment. Has there ever been a year like 2020? The answer is, “Yes!” And some have been even darker.

Isaiah 9

Dark times can produce dark thoughts, emotions and reactions. But the contrary is true as well.

The prophet, Isaiah, was called the prophet of redemption. This is somewhat ironic since he prophesied at a time of great darkness. Isaiah was one of the greatest prophets and lived during the 8th century B.C. In the early part of the 8th century both Israel, under King Jeroboam II and Judah, under King Uzziah enjoyed a season of prosperity and peace (sound familiar?). But this was not to last long. Soon, the kingdom of Assyria (722) would rule over the northern portion, Israel. Then the kingdom of Babylon (586) would hold captive the southern portion, Judah. These were some of the darkest days for the OT people of God. It was also a time of great activity of God speaking to His people through the prophets. Isaiah lived in Jerusalem and was most involved with the trials of the southern territory of Judah. How could it be that he was considered the prophet of redemption given the times in which he prophesied?

During these dark centuries, while there was external oppression from neighboring kingdoms, the greatest threat for Israel and Judah came from within. The people of God in both Israel and Judah were guilty of worshipping the gods of their invaders. There was great disobedience, and a lack of justice and righteousness where the weak were not protected. You can read about all of this in Isaiah 1-8. Dark days, indeed!

This is where Isaiah 9 begins. The people are in a very hopeless season, yet Isaiah speaks confidently of a new day that will emerge. He speaks with confidence because of God’s promises of old that have come to pass. In these short 7 verses, he speaks of the future Messiah who will come and bring everlasting peace and justice. The word “Nevertheless” is prescient.

1 Nevertheless, there will be no more gloom for those who were in distress. In the past he humbled the land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali, but in the future he will honor Galilee of the nations, by the Way of the Sea, beyond the Jordan—

The northern kingdom, Israel, was the first to experience occupation and domination, yet Isaiah says that this region will be the place where new blessings will begin. About 700 years later, It is from Galilee that Jesus begins his ministry announcing the arrival of the kingdom of God.

In God’s economy, he always meets us in those places of gloom and distress. It is in these moments of humbling that his promises of grace and mercy are most needed and most provided. Continue reading Isaiah 9:2-7. These are familiar verses to some, but the dark context of chapters 1-8 make them even more significant. Notice how Isaiah’s future hope is often spoken about in the past tense as if it has already happened!

2 The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned. 3 You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy; they rejoice before you as people rejoice at the harvest, as warriors rejoice when dividing the plunder. 4 For as in the day of Midian’s defeat, you have shattered the yoke that burdens them, the bar across their shoulders, the rod of their oppressor. 5 Every warrior’s boot used in battle and every garment rolled in blood will be destined for burning, will be fuel for the fire. 6 For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. 7 Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this.

As you sit and read these verses, you can see that this has already taken place in the first coming of Jesus. We look back and see what Isaiah said would come to pass! What a picture of shalom (peace/wholeness)! The New Testament says that Jesus is coming a second time to finish what he started in his first coming. He isn’t finished yet.

As you move into 2021, do you have the same confidence in Jesus’ second coming as Isaiah did of Jesus’ first coming? And how will that impact the way you live in the present? It has been a hard year. There have been harder and darker years before 2020. There will likely be hard and dark years to come. Racial tensions remain and, unfortunately, just as we think we are beating this virus, other calamities will arise. We are living in the desert, still longing for the promised land. But NEVERTHELESS, it will…..no, IT HAS come to pass. For a glimpse, look no further than Revelation 21.

Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth” (Revelation 21:1).

For Isaiah, history was headed to the first coming of the Messiah. For us, history is headed to the second coming of the Messiah. This is the only reason why we can have any semblance of hope and joy in the here and now. Christmas is a time to look back but it also provides the needed lenses through which to see and respond to whatever you face in 2021 and beyond.

Copyright © 2020 Dr. Timothy S. Lane

Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change

In 2019, I was invited to do some teaching on addiction in the United Kingdom. To be most helpful in addressing this topic in that context, I knew I needed to be more aware of the differences between the US and UK when it comes to counselling (notice I spelled it correctly!).

In the US, our understanding of therapy has been shaped largely by Sigmund Freud. That is why those of us in the US tend to focus on “talk therapy.” The UK was shaped by empirical science and medicine. As a result, there is some skepticism for “talk therapy” or counselling in the UK. Instead, they send people to a “clinician.” Often, that means a doctor who can prescribe medication. While that may be an oversimplification and while that is changing, it does represent a significant difference. Because of this, I thought it wise for me to strengthen my understanding of the physiological nature of addiction.

I started doing some research on the topic of addiction with an emphasis on the brain and body. What is the nature of addiction from a physiological point of view? That is where the following book, Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change, was so helpful.

If you have little or no training in human physiology you will be greatly helped and encouraged with what you find in the first section of the book. If you are a pastor, youth group leader or family member of someone who struggles with addiction, you would benefit greatly from this book. There are 4 major sections in the book that are directed to the loved one who is living with someone who struggles with addiction.

I. What To Know
II. How To Cope
III. How To Help
IV. Live Your Life

Here are some helpful portions taken from Part I: What To Know

I. What to Know: This section of the book provides one of the most helpful and accessible understanding of the nature of addiction and how it impacts the brain. This section is tremendously helpful because it explains the grip a substance or behavior can have on a person when the Nucleus accumbens (the reward center of the brain) gets high-jacked by an over influx of dopamine. Here is how the book describes what is happening in the addiction cycle:

1. What Is Addiction

Dopamine balance in the brain is not the only thing that gets disrupted by repeated use of a substance. It also affects key structures in the brain, such as the prefrontal cortex and limbic system. The prefrontal cortex is where we assess risks, weigh consequences, and make plans--in other words, make considered decisions. It manages input from the other parts of the brain like the limbic system and bodily regions and has been dubbed the braking system of the brain because it makes possible the judgments and decisions that go along with saying no to an impulse. When flooded with a substance, this part of the brain basically shuts down. (Teenagers have a distinct disadvantage here, as their young cerebral cortexes aren't even fully developed.)

The limbic system, in contrast, is where our sense of drive and urgency come from, generated through emotion, motivation, and in some ways the formation of memories. In the context of substance use or compulsive behaviors, this part of the brain gets excited into overdrive. So a brain that finds its limbic system acutely activated and anticipating the reward of using, and its judgment and decision-making pre-frontal cortex more or less disabled, is a brain that’s likely to go forward with the impulse and desire to use—no stop and all go. A brain in this state will register the smell of marijuana being smoked, the desire to smoke it, and anticipate the feeling that comes along with smoking, while the reasons not to smoke disappear.

The Notion of Permanent Brain Damage

We now know that our brains are constantly evolving, even as adults. According to the old model of brain function, there were our formative years in early childhood and adolescence, after which, sometime in our twenties, we coasted and declined. Now we know that our brains continue to hone old pathways and activity and forge new ones long into adulthood. This is good news for everybody—old dogs not only can learn new tricks, they should, if they want to optimize their brain functioning—and it is especially good news for people affected by substance problems.

The Brain and a Broken Leg

Think of the brain like a broken leg. A bone breaks, and with help—a cast and crutches to prevent reinjury while the person returns to a normal routine, physical therapy to regain strength and flexibility, and family and friends to help and to keep up morale—the bone heals and the person can work, play, run, and jump again. The leg may be more vulnerable to breaking after all that, and the person will need to take care to protect it, but the person can adapt and, for the most part, the body heals. The brain is no exception. (p 31-32)

As you can see, the book is always hopeful, even in the face of an often brutal struggle. The rest of Section 1 focuses on 2. Motivation: Why Do People Change, and 3. Change: How Do People Change.

While addiction is a whole person struggle, knowing more about the brain/body component can be immensely helpful as you seek to help others. If you are a loved one who wants guidance with how to help someone who is struggling with addiction, or if you work with youth or are a pastor, I highly recommend this book.