Do You Know the Stages of Temptation?

No one wakes up one morning and decides to become addicted to a substance or behavior. No one decides in the moment to be unfaithful to their spouse. While we do make decisions in the moment, these decisions are connected to a much more complex web of influences, vulnerabilities, desires, and pain over days, weeks, months, and even years. Let no one dupe you into thinking that temptation and giving into temptation is a simple human experience or an easy one to identify, understand, fight, and change.

If James 1:1—18 gives us a broad framework for understanding temptation, James 1:13—18 maps out the illusive stages and progression of temptation in a way that can be useful for us as we seek to fight temptation. If you are looking in the Bible for the language of “addiction” or “use-disorder”, this is one of many places where you will find it:

13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

Let’s focus on verses 13-15 first. Notice the progression of the stages and the analogy that James uses. It is the analogy of seduction, conception, gestation, birth, growth, death. Remember, a baby isn’t conceived, born, and is full grown in a moment. Rather, the process of birth takes almost 1 year! And remember, as it relates to temptation and sin, the consequences often don’t show up until much later than that. Keep that in mind when you think about temptation. Let’s look at the stages that James highlights:

1. Stage One: Blaming God/Avoiding Responsibility—v. 13 “God is tempting me”

2. Stage Two: Seduction—vv.1 4-15 “dragged away, evil desires, enticed”

3. Stage Three: Conception—v. 15 “after desire has conceived”

4. Stage Four: Birth—v. 15 “gives birth to sin”

5. Stage Five: Growth—v. 15 "when it is full grown”

6. Stage Six: Death—v.15 “gives birth to death”

The process that James describes allows for a long time for temptation to develop. Consider any area of your life where you struggle with temptation and disobedience. The struggle has deep and long tentacles in your past. If you struggle with anger, you will be able to see this vulnerability in your hard-wiring, family of origin, significant events/relationships, and current stressors. When you see this, you are able to recognize when you are triggered. And when you are triggered, that micro-moment is connected to a long history that swells into the present in such a way that you feel you have no control over the “instantaneous” instinct to react. The sudden urge to give into temptation started long ago!

If that makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t stop reading. It is in moment’s like these that we need God’s forgiving, rescuing, empowering, enabling grace. And this is precisely where James takes us in verses 16-18.

16 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of first fruits of all he created.

I have taught through James numerous times. On my first and second pass through this chapter, I felt like these verses must have been inserted later by some incompetent editor. Or worse, James must have been distracted as he penned this letter! But upon further reflection, I see that he knew exactly what he was doing. He ends this section by reminding us of Jesus. Jesus is the good gift from above that the Father has sent, in whom we find new birth. This new birth leads to a new power within for the present and a promised hope for ultimate victory one day!

Are you fighting a battle in your life. This passage normalizes the struggle and calls us to deep reflection and gratitude for your Redeemer. Knowing the stages can be very helpful as you understand your story and your unique areas of vulnerability. Knowing that God has lavished his grace upon you is essential, too!

Fighting Temptation

Anglican Bishop J. C. Ryle (1816-1900), once said that there are at least two marks that indicate that someone has become a Christian:

1. There is a new peace!

2. There is a new fight!

He couldn’t have spoken more accurately. There is a new peace because you have been reconciled in your relationship with God through Jesus’ life, death and resurrection. You experience forgiveness of sins, reconciliation with God and a conscience that has been cleansed from guilt and shame.

There is a new fight because the Holy Spirit is now at work in you, providing enabling power to fight the remnants of remaining sin. That’s a strange combination but one that Scripture wholeheartedly proclaims.

As for point 2, what does it look like to fight temptation?

1. Know what Temptation Is:

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance…..12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

James 1 is a very helpful chapter when defining temptation. In James 1, the same Greek word for temptation is used in verses 2, 3, 12, 13 and 14. It means 2 different things based upon the context. In verses 2, 3, and 12, the word means external pressures. In verses 13 and 14, the word means an internal battle. Those are very different meanings. According to James, God sends external trials or tests for the purpose of deepening our trust in him (vv. 2, 3, 12). He never sets traps (vv. 13-14) to cause us to fall into sin and disobedience. So, a temptation is an internal war within each believer between remaining sin and the new power of the Holy Spirit.

2. Know the Context of Temptation:

9 Believers in humble circumstances (poverty) ought to take pride in their high position. 10 But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. 11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.

James 1:9-11 speak of the rich and poor. What is the point? Both riches and poverty are equally trials! In other words, a life of adversity has its challenges as does a life of prosperity. We can be easily duped into thinking that all is well in a season of blessing and that all is not well in a season of adversity. Nothing could be further from the truth. When life is moving along without any trouble, it is tempting to think that you don’t really need God’s grace. That is a very serious place to be.

3. Know the Stages of Temptation:

13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

James 1:13-15 spell out the slippery slope of temptation. It begins with a simple desire, but that desire quickly morphs into a demand. Why? Because of the condition of the heart of the person. It is due to a desire to worship anything but the true and living God. This slippery slope leads to death not life.

4. Know the Way Out of Temptation:

16 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

James 1:16-18 seem out of place after a long section on external trials and internal battles. But it is precisely what we need. For James, the way out of temptation is through a new power and dynamic of worship. Seeing the Father as the giver of all good gifts. Especially the One perfect gift that brings new birth. That One gift is Jesus, who comes to free us from the bondage of guilt and shame.

Steps to Rebuild a Marriage

 Every marriage is flawed and susceptible to temptations. Every marriage has strengths and weaknesses. Every marriage needs to improve. While this series has focused on infidelity, all couples can benefit from these areas of growth in grace.

Each Spouse Can Work to Make the Marriage Better

Even though an affair is a devastating trial, it can be used by God to redeem a marriage and move it to a place that is far better than either partner imagined. An affair can reveal the small fissures that were there but were never addressed. Issues of communication, conflict resolution, intimacy, finances, children, common interests, and expectations are now on the table in ways that they were not prior to the affair.

The problems in the marriage did not cause the affair and this in no way justifies the adultery. Yet it can still be a place where both people grow. Both can admit their own failures, sins and weaknesses and make new commitments to the marriage. This happens more effectively when the spouse who has committed adultery is honest and open about what they have done and clearly states their spouse was not the cause of the affair.

It is Imperative to Get Beneath the Surface

For the person who has committed adultery, he or she must begin to gain clarity on why they did what they did. In Luke 6:43-45, Jesus says that all behavior grows out of our hearts. James 1:13 says the same thing. We sin, not primarily because of our circumstances but because we are dragged away by our own desires. What Jesus and James mean is that all sin begins inside of us - not outside of us. It is important to begin to understand the motivations that drove the person to commit adultery. If they don’t tackle sin at this level, they will not deal with the real problem nor will they go deep enough with their repentance. They may also be more susceptible to another affair.

Trust Must be Re-built Over Time

It is hard to conceive of anything more devastating to a marriage than an affair. An affair does not end the marriage because a marriage can only be dissolved through divorce. However, something very personal and substantial has been treated carelessly. It is a breach in the relationship and the fallout for both people is devastating. For the spouse who was unfaithful, trust must be re-built over time through a consistent lifestyle of transparency and humility. While confession is an important first step, that does not immediately reinstate trust. Trust takes time.

Forgiveness Must be Practiced as a Lifestyle

For the person who has been betrayed, this will be where the war is waged. While they may grant initial forgiveness, practicing forgiveness on a daily, moment-by-moment basis will be critical. It will be tempting for the spouse who has been sinned against to become bitter and resentful if they are not guided to continually practice forgiveness. Since the unfaithful spouse must build trust; the spouse who was betrayed must practice forgiveness. Both of these can only be done by the empowering work of the Spirit.

Finally, remember every couple is unique. Take the time to get to know them and make a commitment to be there for the long haul. You will be glad you did.