Why I Am Skeptical of Church Surveys

Have you participated in a church survey? It seems quite innocent. The leaders are interested in your personal feedback. You think, "Our leaders are looking out for our best interests." Godly shepherds of the flock are taking their responsibilities seriously. You feel heartened as you open the survey and start to check the boxes and give additional comments. You want to be an engaged member of your church.

As you read through the survey, you start to notice a theme. You notice a few questions and requests for feedback related to the pastor and staff. They are creatively dispersed throughout:

How would you rate the preaching in our church?

Would you feel comfortable inviting a visitor to the church worship services?

Do you feel you are being adequately fed from Sunday to Sunday?

The survey starts to feel like a way to "smoke out" issues that are attached to a broader narrative. Beneath the thin layer of questions could possibly lurk another agenda. The survey might feel as if it is being employed to provide feedback on any number of problems in the church. The survey functions like a 360 evaluation with the critics maintaining their anonymity and immunity for what feedback they provide. This can prove deadly, particularly if the problems are aimed at the church staff.

If you are going to conduct a survey of your church members, here are a few suggestions that I would encourage the leadership to consider:

1. Do not allow surveys which permit critical comments to be submitted anonymously.
2. If you are a volunteer leader, don't allow the survey to keep you from the hard work of candid conversations that you should be having with the hired staff. I would strongly urge churches to have regular reviews of staff that are both honest and encouraging.
3. Seek advice from seasoned churches/skilled organizations that have benefitted from a particular type of helpful research.
4. If a pastor has been brought into a challenging context and has had to make hard decisions, do everything you can to pray for and guard your pastor in the process.
5. Regardless of the circumstances, do everything you can to protect the pastor, his wife and children. Needless damage has been done to pastors and their families that leave scars that last a lifetime. Be mindful that you are caring for a family, not just an individual. It is not just the pastor's place of work...it is his family's place of worship.
6. Create questions that are solution-based. When people are critical, ask them to offer solutions. Those solutions should also include their participation.

When I was a pastor, I would receive an occasional note from a congregant. I was always encouraged with positive and constructive criticism, yet I had one requirement. If the writer would not sign the complaint with his or her personal name, I immediately threw it into the trash. On the other hand, if a name was attached, I would read it and do what I could to follow up with a meeting. This would often lead to mutual understanding through helpful conversations. It actually built community rather than destroyed it.

I would be interested in your feedback. Have you done a church survey? Were you the subject of a church survey? What went well? What did not go well? What advice would you add? Let me know your thoughts.

Copyright © 2014 Timothy S. Lane. All rights reserved.

Can Blessings be a Trial?

Do you find yourself in the midst of blessings? Your marriage is strong. Your children seem to coast along. Everything is going well at work. Your health is decent. Finances are sufficient to pay the bills. Friendships seem to be easy and fun. Overall, life is going your way and you couldn't be happier. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

According to James 1:9-15, it is both. In these seminal verses, James says that poverty and riches are a trial. Both blessing and hardship are equally tempting. If you don't believe me, read this from James 1:9-11.

The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wildflower. For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business.

According to James, there ARE two kinds of trials; adversity and prosperity. Have you ever thought about trials in this way? If not, you should. All of those wonderful blessings in your life open a vat of temptation as wide as the hardships.

I have heard it said that the most troubling life is the life without trouble.

With that in mind, let's try these questions again. Is your life coasting along? Are your relationships unhindered? Does your spouse think you hung the moon? Do your children hang on every word that flows from your mouth with humble and prompt obedience? Are your finances and future retirement plans secure? If so, be vigilant. You are highly susceptible to the schemes of the Evil One and his schemes are most likely passive. He sits back and watches ungodly pride, confidence and self-sufficiency do their dirty work.

James wasn't the first one to highlight the challenges brought upon us by blessings. When the children of Israel were delivered from slavery in Egypt and moved into the promised land, they were told this by Yahweh in Deuteronomy 6:10-12;

When the Lord your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you--a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant--then when you eat and are satisfied, be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.

Wow! You can pick up your Bible and keep reading the history of Israel. This is exactly what they did time and time again. This is a warning that is too often unheeded by those who are experiencing a season of blessing. It is why the apostle Paul's counsel to give thanks all the time is so critical. Thanksgiving is a tangible expression of gratitude for God's grace. We don't deserve good things, yet in God's goodness and grace He allows us to enjoy blessings. Jesus is the greatest of blessings. We would never think to presume we deserve his mercy. James, Paul and the rest of Scripture are cautioning us against thinking that we deserve any good thing. We don't, but He gives them anyway.

Every good thing you are enjoying right now is a gift that you do not deserve. So take a moment and enumerate the many blessings in your life. Let the weight of them bring you to your knees in humble gratitude. If you do, this is the surest way to fight against pride and self-sufficiency.

Blessings are a trial that can lead to pride or gratitude. Which is it for you right now?

Copyright © 2014 Timothy S. Lane. All rights reserved.

One Core Element of Worry and its “Cure”

No one is immune from worry. We live in a scary world where bad things happen and good things are not always guaranteed. Take a moment and consider what you are facing this week. Did you sense a degree of anxiety creep into your heart? Symptoms vary based upon the degree of worry. You may experience a loss of appetite, racing thoughts, sadness, paranoia, temptations to check out or become over-controlling.

Statistics show that the most prescribed medications are those for anxiety. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 40 million Americans (about one in six) are suffering from some kind of anxiety disorder. Treatment for anxiety accounts for nearly a quarter of all mental-health care (m.theatlantic.com, Scott Stossel, 12/22/2013).

The core of worry is not easy to diagnose because we are complex beings. Nature, nurture and psychological/spiritual influences are all fair game. Some of us are more prone to worry than others for a variety of reasons. Regardless, we all worry. Sin and suffering are realities and this world is not what it is supposed to be. If you struggle with worry, it is because you are a human being.

What can we learn from Scripture as we seek to respond to our own anxieties? In Matthew 6:25-34, Jesus highlights many reasons we worry. I'll highlight one.

As you read the passage, Jesus implies one of the reasons we worry is because we can't control the future. Notice the use of the future tense; what will you eat, drink or wear. Depending on your context, your worries can be more immediate and focus on physical survival. If you are relatively confident that your basic needs will be met, your worries could spill over into what you might call "psychological needs". Will people like me? Do I measure up? Will my spouse be faithful? Will our kids turn out okay? Will we have enough money to retire? I wonder how and when I will die? The questions can be endless or there may be one or two that grab you and won't let go.

If worry is driven by an uncertainty of the future, consider how Scripture addresses this. One of the broadest themes in the Bible is the future. Christianity's view of history is linear, not circular like many other world-views and belief systems. There is a beginning and an end to human history as we know it. Therefore, the Bible is packed with promises. From Genesis to Revelation, the Bible is brimming with hope. Promises are about the future. Read all the “I will’s” that God utters through the prophets and apostles. One of the biggest promises in Scripture is, "I am making everything new." This is re-iterated in the last book of the Bible (Revelation 21-22).

All of these promises, says Paul, find their “Amen” in Christ (2 Corinthians 1:20). What does that mean? Jesus is the first fruits of what is to come. His resurrection is proof, a sign and a guarantee that all of God's promises will come to fruition. This future certainty is supposed to intersect with our lives in the here and now. In other words, if you belong to this God, He's got you covered. He's got your back! Your future is already wrapped up and nothing can change that. If that is true, what kind of future does God have in store for you? Here is one very important part of your certain future. Consider these words from I John 3:2-3,

Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.  All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.

The entire trajectory of your life is ultimately to be conformed into the likeness of Christ. Nothing can stop this from happening. Because you belong to Him, you will one day be like Him in character. Therefore, we can live one day at a time and carry today's troubles. The great hymn writer and pastor John Newton put it this way,

I compare the troubles which we have to undergo in the course of the year—to a great bundle of sticks, far too large for us to lift. But God does not require us to carry the whole bundle at once. He mercifully unties the bundle, and gives us first one stick, which we are to carry today; and then another, which we are to carry tomorrow, and so forth. We can easily manage our troubles, if we would only carry the trouble appointed for each day. But the load will be too heavy for us—if we carry yesterday's burden over again today, and then add the burden of tomorrow to the weight, before we are required to bear it.

It’s reasonable to worry. Today is filled with challenges. But just take on today’s concerns, not yesterday’s or tomorrow's. You have enough on your plate. You also have one who knows what is on your plate and what you need in order to move forward today. That doesn't mean it will be easy but it does mean you have hope to press into today because you know the end of the story already.

Copyright © 2014 Timothy S. Lane. All rights reserved.

Even in Crises, the Church Must be Involved

In the event that a person or couple needs more skilled help and intensive intervention from resources outside of the local church, they will still need the supporting and nurturing involvement of wise brothers and sisters in Christ to walk with them on a daily basis.

•    Don’t Outsource By Default:

There is nothing unbiblical about seeking outside assistance. Just because you feel overwhelmed by a counseling opportunity, don’t immediately think you must outsource your care. When a church immediately out-sources counseling it misses the opportunity to grow both individually and as a community. When I was a pastor, I remember facing a very challenging counseling case. I immediately got on the phone and called a respected professional counselor who recognized and emphasized the importance of the local church. Why did I do this? Because he had more experience than I did. After describing the situation, he said that this would be a very challenging but rewarding person to counsel. He was right! I grew as a pastor, my family grew as we reached out to her and the church grew as this person was welcomed into meaningful, redemptive relationships with other Christians. Had we immediately outsourced the care of this individual to a professional, we would have missed the opportunity to grow in love for other people and she would have potentially missed receiving care from the body of Christ.

•    Recognize the Power of the Normal Means of Grace

Remember that even if you send someone for outside help, the person still spends very little time with a professional counselor; usually 1-2 hours a week. While those hours can be very helpful, they are hardly enough to give the person the complete help that they need for the other 166 hours of the week. I recently spoke to a pastor who frequently out-sources his counseling to a professional in his area. I asked him a few questions that revealed a typical pattern. He said that nearly half of the people he refers never follow through and of the half that do, very few go consistently. Why do we have a tendency to minimize the power of the normal means of grace in a person’s life? The Word of God, prayer, being in the company of other believers, corporate worship, the sacraments, and service to others? While I don’t want to minimize the need for more skilled help, a person will always need daily exposure to the means of grace. If you do refer someone, make sure they are following through and don’t assume that is all they need.

•    Seek Outside Help When You are Over Your Head

While you don’t want to out-source counseling by default, you do want to recognize your own limitations of time, wisdom, and experience. Thankfully, the body of Christ is not limited to you or your own local church. While you may be committed to counseling in your local church, it doesn’t mean that your counseling has to be limited to the resources in your particular church. There are resources within the broader body of Christ which include services like counseling, crisis pregnancy assistance, food and clothing assistance to name a few. Sometimes seeking outside help means picking up the phone and calling a skilled, wise counselor who has a lot of experience and case wisdom. You may want to tag-team with someone. You may seek the help and services of a good physician or psychiatrist. In order to do this well, you have to do your homework and ask some basic questions about the approach.

Here are some questions to ask as you determine with whom you will work:

• Will they work with your church to provide the best help possible which will include the resources within your local church?
• What model of counseling is foundational to the way this person provides care? Is it compatible with your church's view of how people grow and change? If not, to what degree?
• Do they see the benefits and necessity of the normal means of grace in a person’s life?
• How much, if any, does Scripture inform their view of the person, their problems and the change process?
• Do they give proper emphasis to a person’s physiological, sociological and historical influences without overlooking the central importance of the spiritual/theological motivations?

As you seek to help people when the problems are more acute and challenge your own experience, it is a mark of wisdom and love to seek outside counsel from trusted people.

Copyright © 2014 Timothy S. Lane. All rights reserved.

When Should A Church Seek Outside Help?

Is it Ever Appropriate for a Church to Outsource Counseling?

You have been there. A person who is really struggling with something wants you to help. You meet with them and they begin to tell their story. At some point, you feel overwhelmed. You do what anyone would do. If you are not on staff at the church, you call one of the pastors who might be able to help. You meet with the pastor of care and he feels overwhelmed, too. What do you do? As important as it is for the local church to have a robust discipling and counseling ministry in place, there are times when you need to get help from someone who has much more experience and training. Here are a few guidelines to keep in mind as you reach out beyond your particular local church.

•    Seek Outside Help If Someone’s Life is in Danger

The most obvious time to refer is when someone is threatening their own life or the life of another person. Suicide, domestic violence, and situations like this require immediate intervention by professionals. Allowing the civil authorities to intervene in the midst of a crisis can be a very loving thing to do. Because of God’s common grace, these organizations are an appropriate place to turn for help in times of crisis. 

Even then, your care of the person is just beginning. Eventually they will be released from the hospital or care facility and your work with them begins anew. Depending on how long they have been under the oversight of the institution, the likelihood of them being persuaded by a diagnosis and cure that are not fully and robustly rooted in a Christian vision of change increases.

•    Seek Outside Help When it Involves Potential Criminal Activity

It should go without saying, but whenever you suspect that a law has been broken, you should involve the civil authorities. In the event that you have an alleged case of sexual abuse, the local civil authorities should be notified. If someone confesses to you that they have committed a crime, you should assist that person tp report themselves to the proper authorities.

Every church should have all of this contact information available in the event of a crisis. You may want to consider having a representative from the police, local hospital, domestic violence shelter, someone who is equipped to assess suicidal behavior and any other professional to train the staff and officers of a church. Whatever you do, have a plan in place to handle these intense opportunities for ministry.

When a church shows that they are prepared to handle these kinds of situations, it is communicating that they are willing and able to wisely engage human sin and suffering at every level. The church truly is for everyone. At least, it should be.

Copyright © 2014 Timothy S. Lane. All rights reserved.