A Web of Care: External Resources

Here are five strands of external care (building upon the internal strands) that can be leveraged to strengthen the pastoral ministry in your local church.

It is important to note that there are professionals in various areas who may or may not attend your church. As best you can, know who they are and get a sense of how they might be utilized in ways that can strengthen your web of care. This will require humility and wisdom. If some of these people attend your church, get them to help you identify the resources available in your community.

Strand One: Specially trained counselors. If you have professionally trained counselors in your church, they can be a rich resource for helping you care for and equip other people. The obvious challenge is recognizing what models are most influential in their care. Make every effort to pursue them and begin a conversation that moves in the direction of mutual understanding and appreciation. Most professionally trained counselors have not been adequately exposed to Biblical and theological categories that are essential to distinctively Christian counseling. It is also true that many pastors and leaders have not had adequate exposure to helpful diagnoses and skills in discipling ministry with more complex struggles. Strive to bring these two together.

Strand Two: Doctors and Psychiatrists. The physical body is complex. While doctors and psychiatrists are not omniscient, their training does provide insight into how the body influences the person. The same situation that exists with professionally trained counselors is true of doctors and psychiatrists. If you want a stronger web of care, do the same with them as you would do with the group in strand one. 

Strand Three: Social Workers. People in the helping professions, including counselors, can be a rich resource for the local church. Hospice care, those who care for the elderly, crisis pregnancy providers, suicide intervention, coroners, nurses, EMS, substance abuse and police officers are some of the many people who can play a role in very specific ways in the body of Christ. Often, they can be leveraged to do significant training for highly active lay people. Their experience and case wisdom is invaluable. Capture it for the good of others.

Strand Four: Every Member. One of the main aspects of a web of care is the daily relationships of each and every person in your church. As important as trained professionals are, there is no replacement for a person's daily friendships. These are the people who really know the person and are there around the clock. Every member in the local church should be equipped at some level to wisely care for those closest to them. You would do well to spend time equipping this group with basic skills for listening and a knowledge of where they can be helpful and where they may be over their heads.

Strand Five: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. It goes without saying that within the context of the body of Christ, there are many strands of the web of care that can be found outside of the local church. One aspect that can not be found or manufactured anywhere else is the presence of a personal God who is graciously involved and working His good purposes in every Christian's life. We do well to remember that the local church has a "resource" that no other organization or institution has; a gracious, personal redeeming God who has revealed Himself in the person of Jesus and works mysteriously through the Holy Spirit.

Finally, it is helpful to remember that the primary metaphor for the church used over and over again in the Bible is that of a body. There are many parts and each part is needed in order for the body to function well. As you consider both internal and external strands within the body of Christ, you begin to see how very important each strand is. You also see just how important it is for each strand to be connected wisely to one another. The strands cannot exist as parallel entities. It is the role of wise leadership to strengthen the interconnectedness of the various people who represent these multiple aspects of care. This will only happen if wise leadership encourages and facilitates this connection. Once it does, a web of care will emerge that will provide a more safe, secure and wise context to provide care for the people who attend your local church.

Copyright © 2014 Timothy S. Lane 

A Web of Care: Internal Resources

The other day, I was doing some cleaning in my basement. While working in a particular corner, I walked right into a spider web. My entire face was consumed. As I tried to get loose, pieces of the web kept sticking to other parts of my body; my fingers, arms, shoulders and even my torso! I could not get free of the web's embrace no matter how hard I tried.

Later that day, I was having a conversation with a fellow pastor about discipleship, counseling and pastoral care in the local church. In a serendipitous moment, I made a connection between my bad experience with the spider's web and a positive one as it relates to pastoral care.  When we think about caring for people within the context of the local church, the image of a web is helpful. We want to create a web of care so that people find it hard to hide, get lost, slip away or fall through the cracks.

I started thinking about the various strands of what that web would include. You see, a spider's web does it's job well because the spider spins many strands. A single strand will not suffice if the spider is going to catch its prey. Likewise, no single strand will suffice if the church is going to guard and feed the sheep. Here is a list of some of the strands.

Strand One: The Pastor. This is the first and most important strand, yet many churches think this is the only strand. When they do, people are not cared for. It only takes a congregation of 25 to overwhelm one pastor!

Strand Two: Spiritual Leaders. Any church worth its salt will have a number of spiritual leaders who assist the pastor and help provide stability for the people. If this is going to happen, it will mean that the lead pastor/pastors will have a vision and plan for equipping these leaders with interpersonal ministry skill.

Strand Three: Pastoral Staff. Most churches, even if they are small, have staff; a secretary, receptionist, nursery coordinator, children's minister, youth pastor and other assistant pastors. Every staff person must be adequately trained to know how best to help others grow in grace. Once again, it is the responsibility and calling of the lead pastors to provide this kind of training so that key staff are adequately able to know how to assist in the growth process of others.

Strand Four: Uniquely gifted lay-people. There are always a number of people who have gifts of mercy and are relationally strong in helping others with wise counsel. Often, they have gained these skills and character qualities through the hard knocks of life. You know who they are because people talk about how they have been helped by them. If this strand is going to be leveraged to the fullest, know who they are and create a natural but more formal connection with them and the other strands.

Strand Five: Small group leaders. In most cases, equipping for small group leaders has one of three legs missing. The two legs that are often present are: 1) training in how to lead a Bible study and 2) training in group dynamics and how to lead the group in discussion. The third leg that is often missing is what to do if an individual or couple approaches the small group leader after the meeting and asks for help with a problem in their lives. When small group leaders are given this third aspect of training, they become a vital part of the overall web of care.

Copyright © 2014 Timothy S. Lane 

Redeeming Group Conflicts

Recently, I was asked to serve a church in mediating a conflict. I have also been reading recent rumblings within the Reformed community blogosphere. I had a copy of Redeeming Church Conflicts by Tara Barthel and David Edling, so I decided to peruse it for some helpful insights. I knew that one-on-one counseling was different than the dynamics at play in marriage counseling, but I had not considered the unique dynamics of counseling/mediating a larger group. An awareness of the different dynamic in group conflicts was quite helpful (What follows has no relation to the local church I assisted. Thankfully, all parties were committed to reconciliation and God blessed the individuals and church in the process).

Barthel and Edling wisely highlight a few problem areas when engaging in group conflict. I have found it very helpful personally, and I recommend it for anyone who finds themselves in this type of situation. Let me highlight a few points:

1. The Danger of Seeking Counsel Within the Church

There may be people within the church who can assist us with our conflicts. We should use caution, however, because one of the most insidious and destructive aspects of church conflict is gossip. People have an innate desire to be in the know, and when rumors of conflicts begin to spread in a church, half-truths, uncharitable presumptions, and outright lies can tear a church in two... "A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends." Proverbs 16:28. (p. 45)

It goes without saying that Christians are quite capable of gossip, innuendo, spin and outright lies when engaged in conflict. To deny that professing Christians are capable of this is naive. When you combine group conflict with perceived hurt, character scrutiny or doctrinal rectitude, the terrain can be challenging to navigate. Barthel and Edling offer helpful questions that are worthy of reflection.

2. The Destructive Power of Group Dynamics

This section in chapter seven is worth the price of the book. Here is what they say about how a group can muster momentum for their cause:

In a group conflict, people with perceived similar agendas may band together out of a sense of empowerment, or at least a sense of potential empowerment. A group sharing a goal (desire) will define their common interests in such a way that they will hopefully prevail over other competing groups.....Therefore a group will justify extreme measures to accomplish their goals, and a sense of a "holy crusade" can easily develop. (p. 98)

Mobbing is a term that is used to describe this type of group behavior. It is something that has been studied in Sweden since the 1980's, and is more commonly recognized in Europe, yet not on the radar of most US churches, businesses or organizations. Group-organized attacks are brutal and destroy any relational capital that existed prior to the conflict. Often individuals, organizations and churches suffer the hurt for many years...possibly decades.

3. The Allure of the Stage

A final lethal aspect of group conflicts is referred to as "stage." Hear what Barthel and Edling say:

Most people, willingly or not, act differently when put before an audience. In group mediation the person speaking for his or her side is on a stage. This person has been given a platform from which to demonstrate to the others that he or she is zealous for the cause of that side. Frequently people in this position use hyperbole to make a point, which causes the opposition to hear only the extremes and not whatever truth may have been presented........A "mob mentality" feeds into the problems associated with people speaking from a stage. (p. 100)

They go on to say these insightful words:

When mob mentality takes over, people feel confirmed in their views, and cherished positions develop to the point of becoming almost unassailable demands. The rush of performing for others combined with the power of group-think can push people to feel justified and reasonable in their convictions, even if they may have self-doubts or secret concerns......The temptations associated with a mob mentality and being on stage in church conflicts can lead people to do and say things in groups that, on their own, in private, they never would do or say. (p. 100)

If you have ever been scrutinized or been in a position of having to weigh the truth of a group or mob, it can be a daunting and exhausting responsibility. Too often, those called upon to mediate can grow weary and make quick decisions. The solution tends to err in the direction of taking the smaller group or individual out of the equation in order to bring "peace." This is often the accused, the pastor or the leader; whichever will bring about the least amount of perceived collateral damage. 

Scripture would caution us to take slow and deliberate steps to insure justice for all sides. Favoritism of either the alleged "victim/powerless" or the one in power without due process is not a godly option. (Leviticus 19:15) Accountability and protection are due all parties. This will take time and possibly many conversations to arrive at a resolution. Each party should be provided with all of the information and given ample opportunity to respond to any and all accusations. Owning responsibility and rightfully being offered the opportunity to defend oneself against false or true accusations is a basic biblical requirement. Our secular legal system affords this basic right, but sometimes the church falls short.

4. The Failure of Leadership

Within the context of this complexity, Barthel and Edling say this to leaders:

In each of the group dynamic situations listed above, one of the primary things being revealed is a failure of leadership. God calls spiritual leaders to lead his people into the place where all interests of man are subservient to God's interests (see Phil. 2:1-4). Leaders are called to help people understand the dangerous dynamics discussed above so they can be avoided in the future and repented of if already present. (p. 101)

While I found all of these insights to be helpful, one critical piece that they do not state is the potential presence of a "ring-leader." In group conflict, there are likely one or two people who fuel the fire and draw others in to accomplish their goals. Other research suggests that the ring-leader appeals to vulnerable, fearful people in a variety of ways in order to increase those who are involved in their "crusade." This is often the case when the "ring-leader/s" are set on winning and not reconciliation. Rarely do you find a ringleader where all parties are committed to reconciliation.

I highly recommend this excellent resource and would encourage you to read and prayerfully consider how you can be an active part in redeeming the next group conflict in which you are involved (Ephesians 4:1-6).

Have you found yourself in this situation? The accused, accuser or the one called to mediate? What would you add to the conversation?

To learn more about Tara Barthel follow this link: www.tarabarthel.com

To learn more about the book follow this link: www.redeemingchurchconflicts.com

After reading this post, the first five people who comment on this site and send their mailing address to timlaneinfo@gmail.com will receive a free copy of the book signed by Tara Barthel.

Copyright © 2014 Timothy S. Lane with Barbara Casey Lane. All rights reserved.

How to Avoid Cynicism

"Justice" was done, and the President of the Immortals had ended his sport with Tess.

This is how Thomas Hardy's novel Tess of the D'urbervilles ends. Tess is a victim who is used by people her entire life. Hardy's words reveal his theology. Though he was raised Anglican and considered converting to the Baptists, his religious views were more akin to deism. For Hardy, God was impersonal and "his" acts were capricious. In Hardy's mind, there was no way to reconcile human suffering with the God of Christianity.

How do you reconcile your own suffering with the God of Scripture? Have you possibly reached a point of giving up? Amidst all the human suffering that exists, it is quite tempting to grow cynical in the same way that Thomas Hardy had. I share common sympathies with those who question God's existence due to the intolerable suffering and injustice in the world. No Christian should ever easily dismiss this most challenging objection to the Christian faith. To do so would minimize suffering.

Thankfully, Scripture is not silent. The entire narrative of the Bible is aimed at dealing with this very issue. One key place is found in the book of James. James was the lead pastor in Jerusalem. He was pastoring a church enduring significant persecution. In the midst of this persecution he wrote a letter to encourage his people to stand their ground in the face of suffering. Chapter 1: 1-15 of James is full of helpful counsel for anyone who is suffering in any way. He encourages them to see that God is a work, to ask for wisdom when suffering and to avoid falling into sin in the face of trials and temptations.

Towards the end of this initial section, in verses 16-18, he says this,

Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

It is as if James anticipated his flock's honest doubts and questions. Rather than chastise them, he speaks into their confusion and questions with words of compassion. James' perspective stands in stark contrast to the ending of Tess of the D'urbervilles. But can it be believed? For James, these words of wisdom and pastoral guidance must have been critical, or he would have stopped at verse 15. But he doesn't. He concludes the section of sin, suffering, trials and temptations on a positive note.

While cynicism is a highly probable outcome for someone who is suffering, James says it does not have to be. James ends this section by turning his readers eyes to the goodness and love of God for his children. James talks about good gifts coming down from the Father; a Father who is not capricious like shifting shadows.

Don't be deceived in the midst of your sorrows and miss this, James encourages. The most obvious good gift that has come down from above is none other than James' brother, Jesus, who came to suffer and die so that we might experience new birth. While James, nor the rest of Scripture, provide a comprehensive rebuttal to the problem of evil, neither do they avoid the problem. In Jesus, you have what no other historical religion or philosophy has; a God who suffers for sinners and sufferers. He atones for our sin and understands our plight because he has been where we have been and then some.

Avoiding cynicism is not the natural bent of the human heart. Only a suffering God can move you away from despair. It will not be easy. It will not happen automatically. Yet at the center of the Christian faith is a personal God who enters our experience and says, "I understand and I am here to make all things new." You won't find that anywhere else.

Copyright © 2014 Timothy S. Lane. All rights reserved.

Can Blessings be a Trial?

Do you find yourself in the midst of blessings? Your marriage is strong. Your children seem to coast along. Everything is going well at work. Your health is decent. Finances are sufficient to pay the bills. Friendships seem to be easy and fun. Overall, life is going your way and you couldn't be happier. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

According to James 1:9-15, it is both. In these seminal verses, James says that poverty and riches are a trial. Both blessing and hardship are equally tempting. If you don't believe me, read this from James 1:9-11.

The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wildflower. For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business.

According to James, there ARE two kinds of trials; adversity and prosperity. Have you ever thought about trials in this way? If not, you should. All of those wonderful blessings in your life open a vat of temptation as wide as the hardships.

I have heard it said that the most troubling life is the life without trouble.

With that in mind, let's try these questions again. Is your life coasting along? Are your relationships unhindered? Does your spouse think you hung the moon? Do your children hang on every word that flows from your mouth with humble and prompt obedience? Are your finances and future retirement plans secure? If so, be vigilant. You are highly susceptible to the schemes of the Evil One and his schemes are most likely passive. He sits back and watches ungodly pride, confidence and self-sufficiency do their dirty work.

James wasn't the first one to highlight the challenges brought upon us by blessings. When the children of Israel were delivered from slavery in Egypt and moved into the promised land, they were told this by Yahweh in Deuteronomy 6:10-12;

When the Lord your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you--a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant--then when you eat and are satisfied, be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.

Wow! You can pick up your Bible and keep reading the history of Israel. This is exactly what they did time and time again. This is a warning that is too often unheeded by those who are experiencing a season of blessing. It is why the apostle Paul's counsel to give thanks all the time is so critical. Thanksgiving is a tangible expression of gratitude for God's grace. We don't deserve good things, yet in God's goodness and grace He allows us to enjoy blessings. Jesus is the greatest of blessings. We would never think to presume we deserve his mercy. James, Paul and the rest of Scripture are cautioning us against thinking that we deserve any good thing. We don't, but He gives them anyway.

Every good thing you are enjoying right now is a gift that you do not deserve. So take a moment and enumerate the many blessings in your life. Let the weight of them bring you to your knees in humble gratitude. If you do, this is the surest way to fight against pride and self-sufficiency.

Blessings are a trial that can lead to pride or gratitude. Which is it for you right now?

Copyright © 2014 Timothy S. Lane. All rights reserved.