Long Term Crisis: Who Do You Care For?

In long term situations, it will appear that the person in need of crisis care is the person on whom you expend all of your energies. But be careful, you may be neglecting others who are just as important.

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Consider Everyone In the Family

When responding to a crisis and looking long term, it is important to focus on the whole family not just the individual who is at the center. What kind of care and encouragement is being given to the spouse, the children, close friends and extended family? The suffering of the person at the center is also bringing suffering into the lives of those close to them. Pastoral care, prayer and encouragement will be needed for them as well. 

Pay Attention to the Specific Needs

Get a list of foods that the family can and cannot eat so when meals are brought, they are suitable. Consider child care, homework, school activities, housework, grounds upkeep, groceries, errands, paying of bills, and transportation. When interacting with the doctor and hospital staff, have someone designated to take notes for the family daily. Listen to their instruction with the family to help them hear and remember. Keep elders/deacons/pastors informed. In situations like this, remember that mistakes are inevitable. Learn and adjust along the way.

Remember to Care for the Care Givers

Go overboard in encouraging those who are in the trenches. 1 Peter 1:3-9 reminds us of how God is working in the present to refine us and help us grow. This is true of everyone involved. It is amazing to see the maturity produced in individuals and churches that have gone through intense, long term care situations. Given the nature of the situation, don't be surprised that relational tension rises to the surface. Encourage the caregivers to work at maintaining healthy communication and practicing forgiveness when necessary. In the midst of the trial one thing is certain - you and your church will not remain the same.

Final Thoughts

No church is perfect but a prepared church will respond better when these difficult
problems come. Though many will volunteer to help out in an immediate crisis, it is the
long term needs that strain the resources of the church and reveal its weaknesses. To keep love constant is a challenge but Christ calls us to meet the challenge with his help. Finally, make individual and group prayer a regular part of your journey together.

Helpful Resources

Here are three books you might find helpful as you think about these issues:

1. To Be the Hands of God: One Woman’s Journey, One Congregation’s Challenge,
by Judy Griffith Ransom and James Henderson, Upper Room Books, 1992. This
book puts you in the middle of a church that is caring for a woman dying of
cancer. Also, very helpful practical lists in the back of the book.

2. Life Together, Dietrich Bonhoeffer

3. Golden Book of the True Christian Life, John Calvin

Comment

Tim Lane

Dr. Timothy S. Lane is the President of the Institute for Pastoral Care and has a counseling practice in Fayetteville, GA. He is a minister in the Presbyterian Church in America (PCA), having been ordained in 1991 and a member of Metro-Atlanta Presbytery. Tim has authored Living Without Worry: How to Replace Anxiety with Peace, and co-authored How People Change and Relationships: A Mess Worth Making. He has written several mini-books including PTSD, Forgiving Others, Sex Before Marriage, Family Feuds, Conflict, and Freedom From Guilt.

He has experience in both campus ministry (University of Georgia, 1984-1987) and pastoral ministry where he served as a pastor in Clemson, SC from 1991 until 2001. Beginning in 2001 until 2013, he served as a counselor and faculty at CCEF in Philadelphia, PA (Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation). Beginning in 2007, he served as its Executive Director until 2013.

In 2014, Tim and his family re-located to his home state, Georgia, where he formed the non profit ministry the Institute for Pastoral Care. His primary desire and commitment is to help pastors and leaders create or improve their ability to care for the people who attend their churches.  For more information about this aspect of Tim's work, please visit the section of this site for the Institute for Pastoral Care. He continues to write, speak and travel both nationally and internationally. Tim is adjunct professor of practical theology at several seminaries where he teaches about pastoral care in the local church.